An Ibo Dude's Corner

Only if you were President…

2009-04-08T14:39:00.001-01:00

You would not rule, but lead

Our nation would be the Pride of Africa

The legislators would do what they are supposed to be doing, not spending tax payers’ money by going to enforce election fraud in Ekiti

Every minister would sit up and work

Benin –Ore road would be repaired

The train services would work across the country

You would be invited for every G-5, G-10, G-20, G-50, G-100 summit holding anywhere in the world

PDP would diminish

We would not rely on Oil as our main economic sustenance

Even if you were ill and had kidney and heart failure combined, we would pray for you to recover quickly

You would focus on development of the nation at large

Majority of the population would have easy access to you

When you are not there, we won’t be afraid because we are sure you have the right people and system in place to run the government

The UEFA champions’ league final would be played in Nigeria (I know you can do it)

Only if you were president, Fashola

Only if you were president

May you continue doing what you are doing now for the next 6 years, and then improve & apply it to Nigeria’s development blueprint

BRF!! Fashi!!! Naija O’ Ni Baje O!!!

I dont know what to write...

2009-03-27T13:44:00.002-01:00

…Seriously I don’t, but it just wanted to

Been having that feeling for months but did not have a clue what to write about – my life, my work, my wife, my family, my friends, my (?)(?)(?)(?)(?)(?)(?)….no clue at all

Then every time I sign on to facebook and I see all my friends writing – (Idris, Shosho, Uchie, NK, Sparkle, Mmachi e.t.c.), the little clue I had disappears from my memory again. I say to myself, “don’t worry, when you get the new job, ideas would flow”…..Nada, that did not help either

I went down to lunch a few minutes ago, on my way up the stairs (5 floors up, I like using the stairs) I said to myself – “Just go to your desk, open a blank word document, type the first thing that comes to your head and just post it on facebook”

Then another thought comes to my head again, “why not blogville? Why facebook?” and I answered “yeah, that too”

I walk to my desk, signed on to my laptop, ignored the unread mail notification on my system, opened a word document and just started typing

So I may not have written anything meaningful but hey, I don’t have to worry about writing in a couple of days or weeks or even months from now

Now, let me go back to work

Caveat emptor - This note may not make sense

My first 100 days in “Office”

2008-12-15T03:52:00.001-01:00

Today marks my 100th day in “office” and as every other public leader in Nigeria would do, I have to give an account of my stewardship, howbeit premature.

In giving my stewardship, I am not going to talk about the 5 boreholes I commissioned in 6 local governments, the “multi-million naira” bus stop I built, the $38 billion dollar stadium I laid the foundation stone, the multi billion naira 500 bed hospital that would not be completed till I have served my 8 year term, the 10 refurbished Toyota Hilux I donated to the police commands to fight crime, the 350 wheel chairs I donated to the less privileged to the tune of 750million naira and the kick off of the over inflated =N= 25billion naira 35km road. (Sometimes you just wonder why they were elected in the first place)

In fact, my “office” is not a political one, though for some it could be. My “office” was ordained by God and HE expects me to respect that “office” and do everything I can (with His grace of course) to ensure I uphold all that the “office” signifies

That “office” is Marriage. Yep, today marks my 100th day as a married man. Yep, how time flies. It doesn’t even feel that way; it feels as if I just got married last weekend…ok, maybe 3 weekends ago.

I’m not going to start blowing my trumpet about how I have been a loving, lovable, caring, patient, adorable, bla bla bla bla kind of husband cos even Heaven knows I have been found wanting most of the time. It has taken God’s grace, the powerful name of Jesus Christ and the presence of the Holy Spirit to get us this far and with our own commitment, love and patient, I know it can only get better as we celebrate the 200th, 1,000th, 10,000th, 15,000th and 20,000th day in “office”.

Join us as we celebrate our 100th day in “Office”

….coincidentally this day also marks the 16th year anniversary of my father’s death. We miss you old man. Keep resting in peace till we meet to part no more.

400 “Friends”

2008-07-11T14:10:00.001-01:00

For most people, making and keeping friends is as easy as it gets. For some, it’s like writing JAMB the 10th time. I find myself in between the two extremes. I have friends, “friends” and friends?.

I signed into facebook this morning and found out my “friends” now number 400 (well its actually 398 but with 2 other pending requests, that would make it 400). First thing that came to my mind was “how can?” I barely even know 400 people let alone 400 friends. But looking at it again, I think I do have friends, though most of them are online friends and colleagues at work which is where I spend most of my time anyway. Outside online (blogsville inclusive) and colleagues (current and former), I doubt if I have up to 10 friends out there.

I used to have them a lot but now, I just don’t know what happened.

In the past (like 15years ago), my friends used to be my fellow chess players, school mates, Man Utd supporters, neighbours and their friends too. Then (like 6-10 years ago) it changed to my “TGIF” crew, school mates, Man Utd supporters, “ex’s”, colleagues, neighbours and few online friends. Today, 95% of my friends are either colleagues, blogger’s (most of whom I barely even know) or facebook friends.

I am getting used to the “virtual” friendships. Damn…..i miss dem days when you always meet and hang out with your friends….like today Friday

Variance Analysis......

2008-06-05T13:03:00.002-01:00

Variance analysis is an accounting term used in budgeting or management accounting in general. It is a tool of budgetary control by evaluation of performance by means of variances between budgeted amount, planned amount or standard amount and the actual amount incurred/sold. Variance analysis can be carried for both costs and revenues.

Variance analysis (in the real world and in my own dictionary) is the evaluation of how actual events played out as against planned events.

I will illustrate with an example

PLANNED EVENTS
Date: May 29th 2008

Venues: Home in Mafoluku, The Place in Ikeja GRA, Ada k’ ibe ya (Isi-ewu joint in Ajao Estate), Kusimo Street, Surulere (Roasted Fish Joint), Nwanyi Ibuzor (Local joint near my house)

Activities: Visit all the joints mentioned above pre-arranged by friends and call other friends who live around the joints to join me there for a celebration

ACTUAL EVENTS
Date: May 29th 2008

Venues: Home in Mafoluku, Office in Victoria Island,

Activities: Left home by 8 am for office (..and it was supposed to be a public holiday), work till 6pm, receive a bad evaluation, received no birthday gifts (well apart from Chweety of course)

Going from the above parameters, and using my own definition of Variance analysis; this was by far the worst birthday I have had in ages.

Thank you Chweety for making it memorable and for those who forgot to wish me happy birthday, I will get y’all.

But heyy….looking on the bright side, it saved me money

TAG.COM

2008-05-12T08:20:00.004-01:00

Rules:
1. Link the person/people who tagged you
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Mention six(6) spectacular quirks of urs
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by adding their links
5. Let each of the tagged bloggers know they've been tagged..via their blogs

MY QUIRKS

1. I hate writing and dont love reading but cos of blogville, work and the fact i also have to broaden my knowledge and develop myself, i have to do them.

2. I hate being stood up (even for 5 minutes). I am too time conscious

3. I hate flying and at the same time hate sitting down for too long in a bus. That can only mean one thing - I hate travelling (except if i have to teleport)

4. I am addicted to sports (except cricket). I follow stories, actions, live events of practically all sports but most especially Football and Formula 1

5. I am CRAZY about cartoons and jokes. I have loads and loads of collections of Garfield and jokes from Jay Leno, Letterman, John Stewart, Colbert and the rest. It keeps me sane. if you are not on my mailing list, better apply now so i forward some of them to you everyday. some people already call me "clown" in the office

6. I cant tell a single joke. i suck at it. i cant even laugh at them....its that bad

OK so i tag Yankeechic, afrobabe, manda, Queenofmycastle, A.J, Toky

She fooled me….

2008-04-02T06:01:00.002-01:00

Sometime last year, a blogger (name withheld) asked me if I wanted to be on the pages of a magazine because there was a piece she was doing on male blogger’s. It was supposed to be a follow up of a similar one for female blogger’s just weeks before then.

I agreed

She sent me questions via email; I replied and sent a couple of pics so she could choose the best for it.

Well, I think I did not reply on time or maybe my pictures were not fine enough but I don’t think she eventually published it. All this happened sometime late last year or so

Now, yesterday, this happened (on my yahoo messenger):

Ozofu: Congrats, I saw u on the pages of a magazine
Me: Emi ke? How? When? Which? Where?
Ozofu: On the pages of True Love
Me: R u serious? (but I thought True love was a womans magazine)
Ozofu: Yes, I am looking at it now. I will bring it over to the house tonight
Me: Did they put my pictures? And is it fine?
Ozofu: No, they did not
Me: Thank God

After that chat, I raise my head and tell all my team members I was on the pages of a magazine. I told them about the gist from last year and everything. Then I tell chweety that I was on the pages of a magazine. All this while I was looking for where I would quickly go and buy a magazine so I can read it.

5 minutes later, chweety tells me it was April fool

I felt like strangling Ozofu, if no be say I be God pikin I for show am pepper. My entire team members just dey laff me. chei, see my life

So, Blogville, please for my sake, lets look for “april fool” joke and play on ozofu. I don’t care even if its in December, we will call it “December fool” joke then. Pleaseeee, I dey beg, I must revenge and una must assist me

....and it went well

2008-03-27T04:43:00.001-01:00

We were blessed, now we are one...

Married life has begun for me

Two stories of "2"...

2008-03-03T07:47:00.002-01:00

STORY 1...

Today marks my 2nd year anniversary on blogville. It started like a joke and now here i am; 2 years later; 1645 profile visits; 45 posts and about 600 comments (sorry princesa, but i had to steal your style). Thank you all.

In a special way, i would want to thank Fatima for making me join blogville. Fatima herself, has not been in blogville for a while. i just hope she is ok. Infact her last post was in Sept 2006.
I would like to ask you all a favour; Please, visit Fatima's blog and tell her to update more often.
I know she has a yahoo 360 blog or so. I guess she i s spending all her time there or something

STORY 2...
I went for a seminar yesterday somewhere in Ikeja and just before it started we were asked to say an "opening prayer".

Now this prayer turned out to be the second stanza of our National Anthem. I did not think much of it cos i was sure i had said it like a billion times all through primary and secondary school.

We all got up, stood at attention and started singing...

O! God of creation
Direct our noble cause
Guide our leaders right (hmmm, whats the next verse again)
Help our truth the youth to know (noooo, it was supposed to be the other way round)
In love and honesty to grow
And live in just and peace (damn it, the whole hall was singing "and living just and true")
Great lofty hieghts attain (o yes, i remember this part now)
To build a nation whereeee peaaccee anndddd justiceee shallll reignnnnn

heyyyyyyyyyy(of course we did not sing this part. i only sang it in my head cos it was my favourite line in secondary school days)

All in all, i realised i aint patriotic enough, i cant even sing our national anthem well.

Too bad. Abeg make una go learn am ooo, because if any of us becomes minister or adviser tomorrow, we must sing it at the National Assembly ooooo.

I have said my own

In the Last 69 days.......

2008-02-20T07:50:00.002-01:00

I have not blogged (well, except today of course)
I have missed two bloggers get together organized my Princesa (not intentional, I owe you an outing)
I have been depressed

I have been happy
I have been sad

I have been elated
I have laughed
I have rejoiced
I have traveled
I have seen
I have been seen
I have loved
I have hated
I have helped out
I have not helped out
I have been humble
I have been humbled
I have received
I have given
I have prayed
I have doubted
I have had hope
I have lost it
I have won
I have lost
I have loved my job
I have hated it too
I have proposed
....And she accepted

Lucky me

Last Update of the year.....

2007-12-13T05:15:00.000-01:00

Hi all. Sorry i havent updated in a while. Too many things happening at the same time, but i thank God sha o, it could have been worse.

I wanted to do a different post but i changed my mind just as i was about posting it. it was supposed to be a sequel to a post i put up last year. I had it all typed out in a word document and all i had to do was "copy and paste" into my blog but....., i just dont know what happened.

It was supposed to be a tribute to my dad. December 15th would mark 15 years since he moved on. I wanted to tell him how well we have been doing by Gods mercies and how God has been a doing a wonderful work deputizing for him. I also wanted to tell him all our success stories for the year; from Mom to Iruka, Emeka, Viv, Uche, me, Ikenna, Chimezie and Nnamdi. The marriage in the family, his new grandson, my promotion, Iruka's Masters, Uche's new job and all that. Well, i guess it was giving away too many details (it was quiet elaborate) so i shelved it.

Anyway, this is what i could come up with that was close enough.

I also want to publicly apologise to blogville. So many of you(Jaybabe, Aijay, Princesa, Teediva, Cally, Solomosydelle, Obinwanne, Jaycee, Nikkisab, Ubong, B & B, Uzo, Mochafella, Isi, Ugo Daniels, Fantasy Queen, Onome, Rayo, Nyemoni, Arewa, QMC, Catwalq, Olamild, Sparkle, Bumight..e.t.c) come around and leave comments in my blog and i hardly ever do the same to yours. Please forgive me, its not intentional. i will do better from now on.

...and before i forget, i finally got rid of titi (my jalopy) and waiting to buy a new one. Still thinking of a name for her. I havent decided yet. suggestions would be appreciated, o rshould i just wait till i buy a new one?

HERE IS WISHING YOU ALL A LOVELY XMAS IN ADVANCE AND A WONDERFUL 2008.

HIP HIP HIP!!!!

HOOORAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hell Ride..........

2007-11-19T05:14:00.000-01:00

This was on the "Journey to Atlantis" ride at Sea World, San Diego. Guess who is in the top left hand corner?

Yep, thats me, "an ibo dude", scared as hell. All my machismo, this is where it ended.

Roller coasters, NEVER in my life will i enter one again. I died and woke up ten times in just minutes of this HELL ride. And you know the worst part, just seconds before this ride, i was holding the kid beside me telling him everything would be alright and now look who got scared. The kid just laughed all through the ride; i felt like smacking him.

Well, my only consolation was the guy on the first line. He was as scared as i was (if not worse). You can call me "Scareddy cat", "kid afraid", "wimp" or anything else for that matter. All i know is no more "hell" rides for me.

So the next time you want to tell me how much of a wimp i can be, take me on a roller coaster ride. But you and i know that would never happen.

Update!!!!

2007-11-13T04:59:00.000-01:00

Finally…

An update

But not what you were expecting I’m sure. The truth is there is nothing to update. No story to tell and since I don’t want to be cooking up stories for the sake of updating I will just keep this as simple as possible.

Remember if you don’t like this post, just no kill yourself, just go to Isi, afrobabe and obinwanne’s blog and harass them cos na them send me this work.

Anyway the only thing that has changed for me since the last post is that my very good friend got married last Thursday, the 8th of November. Yep, Thursday. It was held in that Catholic Church in 1004 estate. Very lovely wedding; simple, small crowd and lots of food and drink. Too bad I could not drink cos I was supposed to head back to the office after the reception.

The couples have known themselves for a very long time. They went to the same university, dated for like 2 years or so but separated after a while. They eventually hooked up here in Lagos (as everybody don dey work now), got together again and decided to get married (sorry, I cant make it more romantic than this)

So, the true reason for updating is to dedicate this post to Okey and Vivienne and wish them a happy and fulfilled married life. Make una dey pray for them too ooo

….and for those who want to have a good laugh, please visit http://undacovasista-weareeverywhere.blogspot.com/. I almost died of laughter after reading the last post

Story,Story..........Story!!!!

2007-10-29T12:42:00.000-01:00

Location......."Roundtable", Mammy Market, NYSC Camp,Ikare Akoko, Ondo State, Nigeria
Participants...3 Guys(including me) and a Lady
Date...........January 17,2002
Time...........around 9pm

This scene happened like 5 year ago. I dont think i remember the exact discussions that night cos there was too much alcohol flying around (and in my bloodstream) and i think it was also eve of our passing out of camp but i do remember something i said that evening. We were in our 6th bottle (even the chic too) and we were having a "wonderful" time and laughing aloud (apparently with that kind of alcohol). Then some lady walks by and the conversation starts....

Chic....Bros, see that babe wey win miss camp ooo
Everyone......Wey am? Where she dey? Which one? That one?
Chic....Yes, that tall one wey dey shake nyash so..
First guy.....She tall ooo
Second guy...Yes oo, This is my specs..
Me............Na everybody be your specs when u don drink

everybody laughs.......

Me..........But she no fine oo, how she come take win (and to think that i dont see very well in the dark cos of my spectacles. i wonder how i saw her facial look)
Chic........Argh argh, she try now, how u go talk like that, u no see her hieght?
Second Guy..Omo make i pursue am see whether i fit toast am...
Chic....sidon jo, na ur type? person wey all the ZI and Camp director dey pursue
Me......already..?
Chic.....Yes now
Me.......Na wao, who know whether na wetin make am win be that sef (see bad belle o)Chic.....but to talk true, na she fine pass all the other girls dem. People no too compete like that. Dem dey shame
Second guy..Wo, leave matter jo. Eh hen, Chic, wey that your room mate wey u wan arrange for me sef, i wan do wetin this useless boys(me and the other) don do for camp too. How i go carry full tank come camp, carry full tank go again.....

The night eventually drifts away.......

Anyway, the moral of the story is sometimes we sit down and judge other people even when we dont know them. In this case, i never even saw her b4 or even heard about her but i just said something out of the top of my head. That was bad.

The funny thing is that same girl, i met like 4 years later(i had no idea she was the one) and that is the same person i am planning on settling with (Chweety)

What an irony....or is it?

Apologies...........

2007-10-16T10:25:00.000-01:00

Sorry guys. I know I haven’t been faithful to you all with regular update to my blog and even visiting and leaving comments in yours. I have just been lazy for the past weeks. Forgive me. Thank you to Ugo, Manda, Princessa, Nikkisab and all others who kept calling and reminding me to update my blog. The fact was there was not really much to blog about. Inspiration left me for a while. Don’t even know if its back. I guess all bloggers and writers pass through this phase once in a while.

Anyway, nothing much has been happening. Same ol’ same ol’. My work is still there, my family, my friends, my leisure activities haven’t changed much, Chweety is still there, and Titi is still there too (I haven’t changed her yet oo, the love is too much between us).

I visited Ghana for the holidays. Nice place to visit if you have your money. The revalued currency has really helped them. 1 US Dollar to 0.95 Cedis. They’ve got beautiful roads, clean streets, lovely beaches and beautiful ladies. What they say about Ghanaian girls and stature is 100% correct. They are heavily “endowed”. Their “IRUKA” and “AZUKA” is something else. It took me a while to get used to not starring. There are sooooo many Nigerians there either for business, pleasure or live there. Infact at a time I was thinking we actually outnumber them. They are quiet fun loving people and a much laid back unlike Naija people. Some say they are just lazy but I won’t totally buy that. An average Ghanaian might find it hard to fit and live in Lagos and Port Harcourt but maybe not Abuja or Akure. They take there time in doing everything. In all the food joints I visited (and believe me, they have like a million place to eat), it took an average of 1 hour for my order to appear. The other customers did not bother of course but me and my guys where always so impatient. No be our fault o, it’s just that a hungry man is an angry man. Then another thing was the food; apart from chicken, chips and burger, i could not eat there local food. Everything looked different from their name. Anyway i would post a couple of pics I took later or maybe would do that on my facebook. Here is a link to some of them anyway including videos http://picasaweb.google.com/maxifish/Ghana

Sweet Daddy D

2007-10-02T12:58:00.001-01:00

Peanut and Jeff # 2

2007-10-02T12:24:00.001-01:00

Desultory Thoughts…….

2007-09-18T08:53:00.000-01:00

I feel like blogging but don’t know what to blog about, so I would just keep typing anything that comes to my head.

Ø I’m finally back in the office after over 14 months of being in a client’s site. The atmosphere is so much different. I almost forgot what it felt like. Now all I have to do is wait for another project to go on while using the break to develop myself better in other to deliver high performance to the next client. Fluffs……

Ø Oh, I almost forgot, I got promoted effective September. You know what that means..? More is expected of/from me and I also have to show I deserve to be where they put me.

Ø “Titi” (my jalopy) is really showing me pepper. I can’t wait to get rid of her. The other day, I was driving home and I was thinking aloud to my self what name I would give the new car when I get it and “Titi” decided to die on me. I had to beg her oooo. I pleaded and pleaded before she now started and managed to take me home. I am never saying anything bad about her in her face again. Once beaten, twice shy (in this case, 100 times beaten………)

Ø Manchester United is gradually moving up the table. Don’t worry “Reds” fans; we will get to the top gradually. We just have to beat Chelsea on Sunday. By the way I have the new home and away jersey with my name on it…..Awesome!!!

Ø I hope the luck Yar’Adua brought the nations football team will continue today as our Falcon’s play in the women’s world cup. If they lose, they would be on the next flight back to Naija. Yar’Adua, make ur luck shine today ooo

Ø The original name for this post was “ramblings” but I looked up the meaning on “wordweb” and I found “desultory” as a synonym. I thought it sounded fancier and if I used it, readers’ would think my English was out of this world.

Ø The link to the pictures I took in the US. I spent most times taking the pics, I forgot I had to be in it. http://picasaweb.google.com/maxifish/Americana

Well, I just ran out of ideas on what else to write. I guess this will do for now. I’ll just have to go visit other blogs to make comments. Oops…I forgot I have a whole lot of CBT’s(Computer Based Training) to do. I guess I have to do the comments later.

The Last 4 weeks......

2007-09-10T06:31:00.000-01:00

It has taking me more than 2 weeks just to come up with this lame post.

It was supposed to be a poem of some sort.

It was supposed to talk about all i did in the United States for the last 4 weeks - the training, the friends i met, the food (omo, naija food sweet o), the new cultures i understood, the loooooong hours of flight(i hate flying), the humongous pizza i consumed (i am not crazy about pizza's too), the long walks in the shopping mall (i hate shopping), the different american english accents i observed, the beautiful places i saw, the skyscrappers, the $23 haircut, the happiness Americans derive from getting drunk (trust me its some kind of sport or hobby), the air and water show in Chicago, the tours and visits to Chicago Street pubs, The jamaican bar in LA (Forbidden City), CNN headquarters, Olympic Park and the CocaCola Company in Atlanta (they bottled a special bottle for me, i even brought the bottle back to naija), the Tour to Seaworld in San Diego (Never entering a roller coaster in my life again, Never....), the walk on Hollywood boulevard, visit to the Universal studios(city), the beach, beverly hills and Bel Air, my first train ride ( i enter subway too), the Limo rides, the beautiful cars i saw (even pimped out rides), the shopping, the weather (during summer, 8pm is like 12 noon) and a whole lot of other stuffs.After that i was now supposed to say how much i missed Naija, my job (i cant believe i am saying this) and most especially my lady love; CHWEETY.

Well, i guess thats all for now and with all the excitements i forgot about Charles Memorial (http://an-ibo-dudes-corner.blogspot.com/2006/09/if-i-die-today.html) So painful.

A night in Chicago.........

2007-08-21T00:09:00.000-01:00

(A) Arriving in a Limo

(B) Dont even know the name of this sports car but i'm loving it

(C) Me, Marion, Dave and Matt (Team 1, Section 3)

(D) Chicago Skyscrappers

(E) Bella Bacino's Pizza. The biggest and best pizza in Chicago

(F) "Shenanigans"- Chicago hotspot

Tokunbo Post......

2007-08-15T09:59:00.001-01:00

Correct me if i'm wrong but i think "Tokunbo" means "made or born away from home" or "something from abroad" abi?. If thats the case, then this is the first post on my blog out of Naija. yipeeeeeee.

I really dont have much to write about. Actually i do have things to write but not co-rodinated enough to do so. The training here is something else. Its not as if its hard sha oo, its just that my head don dey block small small. i think its cos of old age and the fact that i have not been in a learning environment like this in like 7 years. Infact since i left university. Come see as small small children dey carry me shine. Before them even ask question, dem don answer. Na wa ooo. But all in all i think i am enjoying it sha, atleast i am trying to. I have been waiting for this training since i joined my firm but it hasn't been easy.

Some highpoints of my trip and my stay here in St charles (some of it anyway)...:

I have had to battle anxiety (all the time i was waiting to come down here)

My job satisfaction
Embassy and visa wahala
14 hours of sitting during my flight down here and 4 hours wait at the airport. and to think that i hate flying. even the 1 hour flights to abuja na problem for me
Immigration wahala (1.even the dog at Schiphol Airport wey dey catch drug dealers smell me out, they had to take me to a special room for searching, can u imagine? 2. the US immigration guys no even send me, i stood in front of him like over a minute and he ignored me and was talking to his colleague, i felt like punching him)
There is soooooooooo much food here. I'm sure its part of the plan of the training facilitators to make us fat finish before we leave. na so so meat i dey eat cos the other food no jell for my body. (bush man abi?).
I could not sleep in the first 48 hours i came here. arrived here 12pm on sunday the 12th, first time i closed my eyes was on early hours of 14th, Tuesday and i could not even sleep on the plane sef, so its even longer than the 48 hours
I think say i sabi speak english before, omo, nothing oooo
Their beer aint that bad. infact its better than i expected. but when u check the cost price it aint worth it.i don spend like $40-$50 (thats like 6-7k naira) on beer in 2/3 days. one bottle of small heineken na $3 but i prefer to buy the pitcher of $10:50. thats like 4 glasses of beer. I no dey drink alone sha
Nobody wants to dance here, or rather nobody can dance here. all they do is get drunk and make noice and go to bed; strange (all thos oyinbo music videos na fake oooo, na now i know why mostly blacks appear in their videos)
They are really nice people here. they all want to mix but its hard for them cos half the time they cant understand us (me actually). They think i'm from space or something
You cant tell the difference between 12noon and 8pm. the sun still shines (very strange)
And the smell of my fart is strong and really really repulsive (yuurk, maybe its the food and weather)

Anyway, will add more stuffs when i can think of them. right now u can enjoy the view of the training facility. thats the pics i posted up there

Any Ideas…?

2007-07-30T05:25:00.000-01:00

Hi all

I would like some tips and advice

I need to know about interesting places to visit and wonderful sites to see in Chicago (St Charles), LA and Atlanta. I would be in those cities between 12th August and 6th September. The first two weeks would be in St Charles, Illinois for training. Then I move to LA from the 25th to see my sister. I would leave LA for Atlanta on the 30th to see my other sister and return to Naija by the 6th of September. I don’t think they would have time for me when I get there (cos of work) and I intend to enjoy myself. So any fun place (clubs, beaches, malls, cinema, shows, carnivals e.t.c) would be appreciated.

And if there are any bloggers reading this and living in those areas, abeg make una come show me road ooo, make I no lost for there.

Anybody in blogville in those areas? Holla back through my email (maxifish@gmail.com)

Is it Really Worth it.......?

2007-07-18T07:06:00.000-01:00

Ever wondered how hard we work to fill our life with luxuries that we hardly have time to enjoy.

LOOK AT IT THIS WAY... The luxury Cars, Toyotas, Land Cruisers, Rav 4's; Mercedes that are parked 8 hours (on the average) driven 40 min to the office and 40 minutes back home 5 days out 7 (i.e. 6 out of 168 hours in a week)....(except for those who stay in lasgigi of course)

And whilst we sit on a not-so-comfortable chair in a small room called an office your Mansion lies idle with only the House Girl enjoying herself to the 'bacon and egg breakfast' (or maybe ogi and moimoi) relaxing on that very expensive leather sofa that we only sit on when we get home...

and being so tired we just doze off to sleep anyway.

When tired of work she takes a break turns on the Plasma TV and spoil herself with the fully subscribed DSTV (or HiTv), of course if she feels bored she can always turn on that brand name Hifi and swing a bit...

And whilst all that is happening where are you?...you are eating a cheap take away lunch (fries from TFC or Mr Biggs) everyday and oh by the way there is no breakfast really, because it's just a cup of tea a few slices of bread probably with some left-overs from yesterday's supper (for the fortunate few).

Every moment you pray that it could just get to 5pm so that you can drive home and join... the House Girl!! (Poor you!). So this is your miserable lot for the rest of your working life... by the time you retire you'll have no pleasure in them anymore. By now your children would have joined in the Rat Race of finding a good job working very hard and never enjoying the fruits of their labours... its all vanity

isn't it?

SO MY QUESTION IS... WHO IS ENJOYING THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOUR BETTER...

YOU OR YOUR HOUSE GIRL?

(ok, ok, i admit, its not original but it was a damn good read....lol)

Goattale Wealth Builder

2007-07-02T07:26:00.002-01:00

Have you heard about Goattale Wealth Builder?

Do you want to earn =N=2,000:00 on and on till infinity with just =N=3,000:00 investment?

Then visit the link below and if u are interested and u want to register, just fill “Phish” in the Referral ID section or simply contact me for further details and registration

https://wealthbuilder.goattale.com/index.do

i did not believe this b4 too, but in 24 hours i have seen my colleague make 18, 000, the other 6,000

they say seeing is believing. i have seen and i have believed

Do u want to believe? register through me and i'll show u the way

All u have to do is let me register u, i give u your log-in details, then u pay in the money into a GTB account with your log in details. u then open a NetNaira account where ur money would be paid into and thats all

make una register through me ooooo

Keep Your Promises...........

2007-07-02T07:26:00.001-01:00

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts.

Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.The King quickly summoned Nick. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts.

The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King, andwith a laugh told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick and................

USE UR CHURCH MIND TO CONCLUDE THE STORY.

Red Devils...........

2007-07-02T07:26:00.000-01:00

This is the new Manchester United Jersey for 2007/2008 season....

The one our boys would be wearing to win a treble again like in '99....

The one to make us invincible and champions of England and Europe once again.....

The one Hargreaves, Ronaldo, Anderson and Nani would be wearing for the next 12 months atleast...

The one Jersey Mourinho will hate forever cos here is where his magic ends.....

The one Jersey, Eto'O would wish he was wearing......

The one Jersey, Torres would wish he was wearing.......

Manchester United, The one club, the greats wish they all played for

Manchester United, The best club in the world

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONSS OF THE WORLDDDD!!!!!!!!!

“Rainmaker....”

2007-05-30T06:26:00.003-01:00

“Rainmaker” is described by WordWeb as an “American Indian medicine man who attempt to make it rain”.

As much as I agree with the “…making the rain” part, I don’t think it’s entirely true when they say its an “American Indian medicine man…”

I just returned from my home town for my elder brothers wedding and as much as there were loads of fun and experience (for my own turn at least), I was really captivated by the “rainmaker” we hired. Its important to hire one for occasions during the raining seasons if you don’t want rain to mess it up.

The “rainmaker” was not an American Indian but a sickly looking old lady. She looked so fragile and her speeches were at best, uncoordinated. I think she must have had downs syndrome or something when she was a baby. She could pass for a beggar or a destitute or something. However don’t let the looks confuse you, she is a god; a rain god at least. She decides when it would rain and when it won’t. She can talk to the clouds and the rains move to another town or venue. And here’s the fun part, if she gets angry, then thunderstorm will follow. On Friday night, during the Bach Eve, someone mistook her for a mad woman and called her names when she came close to the person and in a matter of seconds, maybe a minute or so, it started raining heavily. No one knew what happened. We looked for her everywhere but did not find her. Initially we were too drunk to notice the rain but the thing hammer us so tey the drink commot for our eyes. We eventually found her and she told her story. We had to give her 1000 naira and Kolanuts to appease her and it was clear skies again.

I started investigating (as Sherlock Holmes wey I be) about rainmakers generally and i heard its hereditary. No one can learn the trade. Its inborn, passed from generation to generation. The person either accepts it or become useless for the rest of their lives. They charge about 3000 naira for any occasion. I don’t think that can hold them all through the year. They cant do any other thing apart from talk to the rains and the clouds. It’s a nice power to have but I wonder what the rainmakers usually do during the dry seasons. Just curious.

A Few Of Miii......

2007-05-30T06:26:00.002-01:00

I just had to post a few of the pics i appeared in. sorry i will be a way for a week or so, so i wont respond to comments or update my blog till next week. i have ACCA exams to write. See u guys when i get back. cheers and thanks for all your comment. By the way, thats me; the man with the goggles with t eh blue t-shirt and 53 on the breast pocket.

the pics i promised....

2007-05-30T06:26:00.001-01:00

http://picasaweb.google.com/maxifish/ObiSBash

......the link to the pics for my birthday. its not all sha, will add more later

enjoy

Mi Buffday (Part 2)...................

2007-05-30T06:26:00.000-01:00

It was my birthday yesterday the 29th of May. I finally hit the big Three Zero. Someone asked me how I felt and I said it felt like the new “20”. You know when you were still a teen and u could not wait till u get to 20 so people would stop calling you a teenager and start calling you an adult. I guess that’s how I felt.

Well, I just invited some friends over to a joint in Anthony Village (Hot Mortars) and we had a few drinks and of course Isi-ewu and Nkwobi and the likes. Before I knew it, it turned into a full scale party. People started dancing and the DJ (he was dry though) started pumping some sounds. I could not believe it. I guess people just generally had fun and I was glad I was the architect of their fun. I was happy that I made others happy. People really did enjoy themselves

However, two things happened that almost entirely wiped out the smile from my face. First was the bill. Lets just say that for the next few weeks, na only garri I go dey drink oo. Second, was Titi. That’s the name of my jalopy. It’s an ’89 Toyota Corolla and can you imagine, she could not take me home after all the love and care I have been showering on her in the last 3 years. She had to die in the middle of the road. I just left her there and went home and this was like past 10pm. It was so painful. Thank God I reach house safely sha.

Anyway I would keep you guys posted and post a couple of picks before the week runs out. Sorry I could not invite u all cos I did not really plan it and I also knew most of you are not even in the country, let alone Lagos so you won’t have made it. All the same, I know I should have told you all

Cheers

Kids......

2007-05-22T14:19:00.000-01:00

Some did not think this pics were funny; that did not stop me from laughing my head off anyway, especially the last one.

Chemistry 101.....

2007-05-15T12:19:00.000-01:00

….What happens when u rapidly cool a hot burning metal?

I heard this line in the fantastic four movie (crappy film) and I have been asking around (my colleagues at least) for the name of that chemical reaction (?) but no one sees to know. I actually wanted to use that name as the topic of my post but too bad, I guess “chemistry 101” would suffice.

Anyway, I can’t really remember my chemistry lessons but I think if u rapidly cool a burning hot metal, it becomes brittle or break or hardened or something like that (please remind me).

For a minute I was a hot burning metal, full of life, jokes, humour and revving it up and then the next I was rapidly cooled. Now don’t ask me what happened cos I won’t tell but that single action almost broke me. Thank God I am not really a metal. I have been “hardened” in the last few days, rarely smiling, not even mixing or hanging out, working my arse off and staying late in the office. As much as I want to be the hot burning metal right now, I think we (maybe just me) all need to be the “hardened” (or is it “rapidly cooled hot metal”) once in a while.

Its worse when u don’t have anyone to talk to and the one person u can talk to is the culprit. Wish I had someone to talk to right now. An advice..? Have more friends who care about you so they can help you go through the “hardened” process.

Now I really wish I was Wolverine so I can heal faster..

I want more....

2007-05-10T09:16:00.000-01:00

As much as this picture is supposed to be a joke, it also has great meanings to life and situations we find ourselves in.

The baby on the right is crying (howbeit innocently) for a "fuller" breast which his(her) mom apparently dont have. It dont matter to him(her) that he(she) is probably getting the same or maybe more nutrients from the milk flowing from his(her) moms tities like the other baby's mom with the fuller tits.

To the crying baby, "the bigger the better";

To me, "a breast in hand is worth more than two in another bra"-(my quote)

lol...

(in all situations, always look for opportunities to excel)

Glory Glory Man Unitedddd...............

2007-05-07T08:24:00.000-01:00

Up Manchester United!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We won the Premiership for the 9th time with two games to go

I have to give it to Chelsea for putting up a good fight

This season has been a case of Man Utd Improving than Chelsea declining. People say Chelsea lost the title cos they are fading, i dont buy that idea, i think Man U simply improved from the last 2 seasons. Despite Mourinho's antics and his technical ability, despite loosing to Arsenal home and away, despite all injury worries, despite rooneys dip in form, despite no Ruud, we still came out tops

We are the Champions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Best Man......

2007-05-04T11:52:00.000-01:00

My Elder Bro is getting married in about 5 weeks time. Too most of you reading this, i know it dont concern you but i had to post it on my blog for a reason.

Mr bro, T is Xtian and Ibo from Imo State while S (his wife to be) is a muslim from Auchi in Edo State. Now some years back, this union would have been frowned upon in many families (even mine, maybe). It was not that easy anyway, i would assure you, but i guess it all boils down to the couples and maybe a bit of understanding from the families.

Inter-religious marriages are not easily acceptable as much as inter-tribal marriages. The later seems to be more common these days anyway. I'll have to give it to S and her family for their compromise cos it was not easy. She decided to convert to a xtian and the family, reluctantly i must emphasise, have agreed so. All in all, they would be getting married in June 9th (at Auchi) and 16th (Urualla, my home town). I'm really excited, cant wait for it, maybe cos i am the best man (my first) and cos my entire family would be together for the first time since December, 1992 when we lost our dad.

Thank God its not mourning that brought us together this time. S, we cant wait to have you in our family. Below is the link to their wedding website for those who want to know more. I know u dont know them but you could just sign the guest book for the fun of it.

Cheers

http://emekatonyandseki.weddings.com

Your Friends would get u out of problems.....

2007-04-24T08:45:00.000-01:00

30 days later…..

2007-04-23T15:34:00.000-01:00

Well, it’s actually a month a day since I last posted anything on this blog (did I hear an applause….oh, sorry it’s my palm against my cheek trying to kill a mosquito)

I never really thought having a blog (and updating it regularly) would be such hard work. Seriously I thought the hardest thing to be in the world was to be a Business Process Re-engineering Consultant (fluffs!!!). Sounds hard abi? But I would choose that any day, anytime, any where to updating a blog.

I think I kind of got confused along the line especially when I started reading other blogs. There were so many style of content. Most (like 95%) talked about intimate things; their boyfriends, their girlfriends, their parents, their one night stands, their sex life, their love life, the wild night outs, their pain (which is ok), their fears about relationships, the “new guy who winked at them”, the “new toasters”, and all such. I had no problem reading them; to me they were nice stories. But being a very shy person (and worse, a recluse) I did not think I could tow that line. As much as I know I have the most amazing lady in my life and we do have wonderful moments together (apart from when we r at each others throat), I don’t think I would be too comfortable talking about her. She wants me too anyway but Chweety, (that’s the name I call her), here’s your 5 seconds of fame. I hope I tried this time.

I can’t also talk about my work. Its hard enough doing it let alone talking about it. Then my social life, same thing always; hang out Fridays, go to club, get home next morning, sleep all through or read or go to cinema, go to church, cut my hair, then back to work on Monday.

You see? So talking about myself would make this blog really drab (as if it aint already)

So, please I am seeking your advice and comments on what (or who..lol) to write about

I dey wait ooooooooooooo

Why "we" are still single (some of us anyway)

2007-03-22T20:35:00.000-01:00

I was in abuja this week and i visited Amigos stores. As i was shopping i selected:

6 tins of milk,
A crate of eggs,
A pack orange juice,
A packet of smoked chicken
A bottle of wine

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status. Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

(if u believe this, u would believe anything)

What a week!!!!!!!

2007-03-16T16:24:00.000-01:00

Mennnnnnnnnn, e no easy ooo
Work wan kill me o
This last few weeks have been hectic
Traffic has been crazy in lasgigi in the last few days and coupled with the fact that i leave the office very late(not later than some people i know sha....they know themselves), i feel like taking a break.

Yes o, a well deserved break. All this waking up by 4:30am, getting dressed by 5:15am, leaving the house by 5:20am, picking up colleagues on the way and getting to church for morning mass by 6:00am and all that aint helping me at all. Its now a routine. I have managed to turn myself into a robot. Those who havent seen me in a while, make una no fear when una see me o. Some say i have lost weight, others say i have grown fatter, others are indifferent. If u ask me, i just feel they just have to say something. Right now i am in the office and its 7:23pm on a friday. No sign of leaving anytime soon. My paddies are either at "IMB" or "Angies" waiting for me (havent called them yet), Chweety is at the cinema waiting for me (bet she is angry), my elder sister is in town and i need to see her b4 she leaves first thing tomorrow morning and i havent seen my mom in days. Sometimes i wish there were 5 of me.

Anyway lest i bore u all out of your skin, i want to thank fya-dancer.blogspot and loveanaija.blogspot for their comments. Your sites rock. I visited their blog and i was ashamed of myself. If you all need to read exciting blogs, those are the ones you should visit always. But for those who still want to be annoyed by my dry gist, keep visiting.

Cheers all

Should i visit Ghana?

All I wanted was a smile…………

2007-02-01T04:56:00.001-01:00

Its funny how much “little” things can mean a lot. I usually get forwarded mails about these stuffs but I just forward them and never really think about it. “Little” things really do matter. Things as small as a smile. It could be small but it does go a long way. I had a shitty day yesterday, it was sooo stressful but thank God it finally came to an end. All I wanted was a smile from someone to lift my day (or night rather). I never got it. I asked for it but still did not get it. This morning, same story. Well the day has started, I hope it won’t be like yesterday and I sure hope it ends better than it did yesterday.

I will try and wear a smile (no matter how fake), I never know who I could be helping out by doing so. And if you are reading this right now, please try and wear a smile. You never know, you could be making someone’s day.

Smile

Letter to my Father

2006-12-19T06:37:00.000-01:00

Dear Pops,
How are you doing? Wow, can't believe it's been so long since we last saw. Its exactly 14 years today. How time flies. I remember it like it was yesterday. From the time u were ill to the time we got to know u had left us and till when we bade you the final farewell. Seems just like yesterday.
A lot has happened since u left us (or rather since God called you back home). The good and the bad, the unexpected and the challenging, the highs and the lows but we always came out on top by Gods grace. Infact if not for HIM, we for don park go village since. Most of those whom we thought were your friends were not really. Some gave us troubles, some ignored us, and some refused to help us when we needed them. Some just disappeared and I bet some were happy you had gone. There have been good times too (no thanks to your 'friends'). We are all grown up now, at least. Your three daughters are all married and they have given you 12 grandchildren. Guess who had the most? I bet you wouldn't think it was Uche, would you? We the boys are working towards competing with them in marriage and rearing grandchildren too. Emeka is working towards it, I'm also working towards it but you know how far now, to find woman easy, na to find wife na hin hard. The other guys are fine and I can assure you, marriage would be the least on their mind now. But they are doing fine, Ikenna just got a job, Chimezie has finished and is waiting for service and Nnamdi is in Unilag now.
Last but not the least, your darling wife, the best mother in the world. Made us become something out of nothing. Without her, I don't think we would have done this well or lasted this long. She is doing fine, haven't seen her in over a year but we talk and write each other. I know you never used the internet (you missed) but she is now a guru, sends email more than I do. Yeah, and she now has a job, doing what she loves doing; taking care of people and getting paid at that.
I know we all miss you but if there was a chance in heaven you could read this, you would miss us more.
Take care pops, see you when you see us
Cheers

Whats love got to do with it....?

2006-11-01T14:38:00.000-01:00

.......well, i guess everything if u ask me.

I dont even know what to write about but this lyrics from the one and only Tina Turner just keeps popping up in my mind and i just decided to write it down. I dont know why it keeps popping up in my head (in the last week ,atleast); guess its cos of the phase i am in my life now. A confused state u might call it (thats what someone said it is anyway), but i think i am undergoing a transformation. I thought i had seen and heard it all when it came to life,women,love,relationships and all that but meeennnnnn, i just dey see new new things ooo.

I had always wanted a simple life but i guess thats too much to ask for someone who is as complicated as i am. I used to think i was a very simple person but looking back i realised i was not even close. I apologise to all my friends(and enemies too) who thought i was very simple, all those i loved and still do, all those i never loved, all those that loved me, all those that never did love me,all those i cared for, all those that cared for me,all those i broke their heart, all those that broke mine, and all of you out there.

Keep the faith guys, Love God, Live simple, have faith in Jesus, the saviour, eat well, exercise and support Manchester United.

cheers

(U see, i told u i was complicated. i dont even know why i just wrote this stuff in my blog)

Driving in Las GiGi!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-27T06:38:00.003-01:00

I KNOW THIS BLOG IS ABOUT ORIGINALITY, BUT I COULD NOT HELP STEALING THIS WONDERFUL PIECE FROM SOMEONE ELSE TO SHARE WITH U GUYS. ENJOY...........

Lagos is often acclaimed as the most exciting city in Nigeria in which to drive. Who would argue? For those of you who think that driving in England is stressful, herewith, for newcomers and visitors, are a few basic rules of the road for driving in Las Gidi:

First of all, know which battalion to which you belong. There is an unending and vicious road war in Lagos.

In the first battalion, are motorcyclists popularly called Okada. They have a pact with suicide - avoid them at all costs.

In the second battalion are commercial bus drivers. Their buses are known by various names including -Danfo, Molue (literally means "I go beat you"), Bolekaja (means "Come down, make we fight), Kabu-kabu, etc. As these names imply, they are not the smartest specie on the face of the planet. Avoid them.

In the third battalion are the "guys of the siren"; escort riders, bullion vans, trailers, etc. They have immunity against death. Besides, they get a medal for every scratch, and a certificate of bravery for every bash.

In the fourth battalion are private guys like me. All we have at our disposal are big talk and empty threats - we have no rights. Sometimes we employ what is called "Ogboju"(bravado) to get by.

Further rules:
· When in doubt, accelerate.
· Never drive behind a person whose head doesn't reach the top of the steering wheel.
· Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. Don't yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.
· Taxicabs should always have the right of way, unless you are bent on suicide.
· Get used to "Okada" drivers saying things like: "Commot that scrap for road", "Mr. I go drive myself". It is normal, and we just ignore them.
· Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.
· The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.
· Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos , potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
· There is no such thing as "one-way" in Lagos . Expect traffic from any direction at all times.
· Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork.
· There is no such thing as a short cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos .
· It is traditional in Lagos to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant their bumpers are not touching the next car.
· When asking for directions, always ask at least 3 people. Lagosians claim to know every inch of the city - even newcomers.
· Use extreme caution when pulling into breakdown lanes. Breakdown lanes are not for breaking down, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.
· Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.
· Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos .
· Hazard lights (popularly called "double pointer") is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his "horn".
· At any given time , do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic that you look like a zebra.
· Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.
· Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
· Above all, keep moving.

· Good luck -- you'll need it!

2006-10-04T06:23:00.000-01:00

Naija is 46!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hoorayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! (Or is it shameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!)

Well, to tell you the truth, I did not celebrate Naija’s 46th birthday with enthusiasm, no thanks to recent events (OBJ vs. Atiku) which has made me look with doubts to the future of this country. As a true patriotic Naija man, I only hope and pray for the best for this country. God has blessed us astoundingly with natural and human resources; Coal (I know we used to have it at Enugu), Crude oil (we still have a ‘50 year’ stock or so), Gas (the yet to be flared reserve), food stuffs (well in some homes), best people (a 16 yr old naijerian went to space), best minds (Soyinka, Achebe, me(lol) e.t.c) best weather (at least no tsunami), no famine, no earthquakes, no genocide, religious tolerance (to an extent at least) and so on.

Despite all these good stuffs from JEHOVA, we still have massive social problems which keep leaping from bad to worse to worst; worst roads, worst power supply, worst education, worst security, and worst unemployment. As a typical Naija man, I will lay the blame on our leaders. Our leaders have disappointed us (me) in the past 46 years, military and civilians alike (OBJ and ATIKU, una no try oooo). Their goals and aspirations have never been for the interest of the people, NEVER. It has always been a Personal Enrichment Programme (PED) and it will continue to be so unless for divine intervention. We all need to pray for this nation. We need to pray for our present leaders and the future ones too (especially people like me wey wan become president one day). With all the prayers, we also need to be Nation Development focused.

We all have a part to play in rebuilding Naija. Whatever part we must play, may God never allow us adopt the PED approach but only focus on moving Naija ahead.

Naija must move forward, whether our leaders like it or not.

NAIJA – Forward Ever!!!!!!!

2006-10-04T06:17:00.000-01:00

If i die today...............

2006-09-01T06:52:00.000-01:00

In memory of Arc. Charles Oniovosa Natufe (1969-2006)

Where would I go to if I die today?
Where would you go to if you die today?
Heaven?
Hell?
Purgatory? (For those that believe in it).

The fact is I’m not really 100% sure and I’m sure most of you are not too. Of course, we all hope and pray we end up in heaven after the toils and spoils of this world but sometimes (and most times for some people) we do not really do what we have to do to be considered worthy to be part of that heavenly kingdom where there is no pain, no cries, no lies, no war, no deaths, no failure, no sickness and no problems whatsoever.

I was at Charles’s service of songs yesterday (31st August) and everyone that spoke about him said lots and lots of good stuff about him (which I can vouch for cos he was really a good man). He was a good man in the eyes of all who knew him but what really matters when someone dies is how God sees the person. I hope God sees him the same way we see him or even better. The BIG MAN has the final say. My prayer is that when my time is up and I finally leave this earth, let it be when the BIG MAN is very pleased with me so that no matter what people say on my own service of songs, I would be resting with HIM till eternity. I also pray the same prayer for all who are reading this and your families and friends, AMEN

Charles – God be with you till we meet again

You don’t know what you have until you loose it…….

2006-08-14T06:26:00.000-01:00

I used to think the above statement only related to people and relationships. I had an encounter over the weekend that changed that perception. First of all, accept my apologies for not coming up with anything interesting to write in the past few months.

Saturday, 12th August 2006, was ‘WHITE CANE DAY’. It was organized by the Nigerian Society for the Blind and the Vocational School for the Visually Impaired to raise funds for the visually impaired. The high point of the day was the walk from National Stadium to Costain roundabout and back to the Stadium. Each volunteer had to adopt any of the visually impaired to guide him/her through the walk. This is where this story actually starts from.

I had the privilege to walk with Kazeem, a bright young lad of 26. He wasn’t born blind. He became blind in 1999 by accident. He was a very good snooker player. Immediately after a very hard won victory over the reigning champion in his neighborhood, he was jumping around and celebrating with his friends and somehow (he still can’t explain it) the cue stick he was holding found its sharper end right under his eyes. He was rushed to the hospital but the doctors could not do anything for him. He lost the right eye. As the months rolled by, the left eye somehow got affected and he started loosing it gradually till he became totally blind in that eye in 2001/2. As at today, he sees slightly with his right eye but it’s not enough to make him walk round the house alone. He had plans to be a mechanical engineer (he still does). I met his friends Solomon, obinna, ’bicycle’, iya segun, and sly. This guys where so smart they were even educating me about things I thought I knew. I overhead Solomon talking about nuclear warheads and wastes and I was impressed. Kazeem talked about machines and engines. They even loved football and where even talking about relaxing over a cold bottle of beer.

Kazeem said I won’t know how much my eyes are worth until I loose them. He was right. He thought me a lesson.

Everyday and every time I will keep thanking GOD for giving me my senses and keeping them intact; for keeping me alive, safe, and unharmed; for continuously blessing me and my family even amidst hardships, troubles and even when I sin.

I hope you would find time to thank him today and always for everything he has done and is doing for you. Also try and show how grateful you are by giving out to those in need either in kind or in cash. You would definitely be putting a smile on someone’s face. Like Kazeem said, you never know what u have until u loose it………….

MI BUFFDAY......

2006-05-30T05:54:00.000-01:00

Yo lads,

Mi buffday was yeestiday, mi had a jolly gooood time with lootz of blokes and lasses(enough of the Irish accent). my birthday was yesterday (29th) and i had a wonderfuuuuuul time with friends, colleagues,cousins,well wishers, enemies,ex-girlfriends,internet friends and backstabbers. I thank everybody that came around, i really appreciate it, and for those who did not come(especially edoka,omoge,chioma and Ngozi), i think u missed. Dont worry, maybe next year you could make it (if we are all alive till then).

The high point of the day was, (i think....) i realised i am really getting old and getting closer to the big three O (just 364 days remaining). Omo, i need to marry o. I need your prayers oooo. I want to get married on or b4 my the big three O and i know i can do that with your prayers(and mine too), the right lady(should i go for the right lady, if there is one, or make the lady right?), increased salary, promotion and ELEDUMARE's mercies and grace. With all these and a little others i think i will make it.

Once again i thank all of you that made it to my place under short notice(especially Subomi, chioma,ihuoma,henry), those that called me, those that sent text, those that forgot, those who could not call or send a text cos of no credit, and infact all of you reading this now

Cheers and have a joyous month of june coming up

Peace, i'm out.

(ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING)

I feel like ...........

2006-04-24T12:10:00.000-01:00

there are too many things i feel like doing now but cant(or maybe wont) do for sooo many reasons. some reasons are obviously too glaring while some others dont even have a reason for me not to do them; but i wont. for example

feel like sleeping now in the office(but cant, could fall off my seat)
feel like going to watch a movie right now(but cant, i fit jam my oga for there)
feel like going to the gym after work(but cant, subscription too cost and my leg still dey pain me for jogging wey i jog last weekend)
feel like kissing someone in the office now(but cant,them go use slap finish my face)
feel like flying away(but cant,i'm scared of hieghts)
really feel i shoud be on a project now(but i stilll dey wait for NNPC)
feel like taking a cold beer and isi-ewu right now(but cant,against office policy and besides i don stop to dey drink, or maybe not)
feel like bungee jumping(for where, i go die b4 i reach ground sef)
feel like having a massage(but who go give me now)

well, there are so many things i feel like doing now(some i no fit mention sef or else.......) but we just have to make the best of what we have at all times. make good use of your time guys whether u r busy or laying about,working hard or hardly working,fluffing or detailing, whatever it is, DO IT WELL MAN(AND WOMAN)

cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is it with April

2006-04-12T07:22:00.000-01:00

Its funny but this month called April( a month before my birth month) happens to have the wierdest facts as regards my life. Maybe it's coincidence but its sure damn scary to be one. i never really thot about it until today. its strange though. check out a list of some of the facts......

first girlfriend
first time i got laid
first time i got jilted
first taste of alcohol(tried smoking too,only lasted for 10 secs.never tried it since then)
first(and only) school fight i was involved in
first time i gave my life to Christ
first time i sang on stage(used to be in the choir during service year)
first job i had after service(that one na work, no be job)
first salary
joined Zenith too in april
first niece was born in april
birthdays of the 3 babes i could kill for(Ugoo-2nd,bisoye-3rd and omoge-4th)
birthday of my favourite sister, esther(nnenne and iruka make una no vex o)
my annual migraine(6 months remembrance of a freak head accident in october 1996)
planning on getting married by april next year (hehehehehehehehe)
Man Utd could win the league by beating chelsea later this month.

Well, these are just a few of them i could remember now.could add others later on though. Anyway i think i deserve an applause for constantly boring u guys with this my small small talk wey no dey get head.

Cheers all.

April fool's day

2006-03-31T13:23:00.000-01:00

hey guys,

i think i am actually achieving the essence of opening this blog in the first place( BORE U ALL TO DEATH) cos this is actually the third in about as many weeks. hadn't actually planned for it though but had to for two reasons:
1- i am soooooo bored
2- to wish u a happy april fools day(make sure u dont get fooled).

well, the week was good. started very well and ended just well(not very). but its all good,looking forward to watching basket mouth this weekend at Eko hotels(not decided whether i would go though) and have a nice rest. too bad i cant swim, would have gone to the pool and soaked myself there. too bad i cant scuba dive,would have done that too. but all the same i would try and enjoy myself. make sure u all do too.

cheers

remember, dont get fooled tomorrow

P.S
i had only one comment posted on the first blog,two on the second so i would like to see more this time around.(thanks fatyl,if no be for u)

how come...?

2006-03-26T10:38:00.000-01:00

how come nobody responded to my earlier posting....(i still dey vex o)
how come naija cant get better than this......
how come OBJ(papa iyabo) still wants to stay on for a third term(at his age).......
how come the so called elders of the land cant(or rather wont) speak the truth.....
how come there are so many who are unemployed in naija(this one too much o).............
how come my main guys never get better work(no worry guys, e go better)........
how come chelsea is winning the league again(instead of man u)........
how come brazil is blessed with the best footballing talents...........
how come i no fine reach tom cruise(stupid question).......
how come i dont get to win a million dollars in the lottery......
how come i always allow people use me and dump me(even when i know they will).......

how come......, how come........, how come.......,
to many how comes,too many questions, toooooo many answers(most of which i dont know) but the fact still remains that we dont need to know these things to be happy and live a fulfilled life(the million dollars would help though). We just have to be ourselves, free our mind, live well, exercise often, have a good relationship with God almighty, tell the truth(dont be like mantu and bode george), dont go for a third term, dont win a million dollars(earn it), dont be weighed down with worries and troubles(i know this part is very difficult), find love(kudos to those who have found it, una try ooo), dont get pushed around, always reply my blogs(LOL) and always be yourself

cheers guys.enjoy yourselves cos me i am going to do just that.
nuff respect.. PUYAKA

This year is gonna be great

2006-03-16T13:11:00.000-01:00

Its the third month of the year already. The year is running so fast i am trying to keep up(but u know me now, i too much.i am definitely keeping up if not even ahead sef). The year did start well, i made some new friends; ipheanyi, seun, edoka, bayo, dolapo, chioma, ijeoma, mercy, yemi, bello, uche and a host of others (no vex if u no see ur name o). I made new year resolutions which i am using all my energy to keep(dont even bother asking me what they r), changed jobs from the soon "to-be" most capitalised bank to a global consulting firm( see me o, from banker to consultant), fell in love for the first time in decades(but e no last sha, still trying to hang on) and for the first time i stopped thinking like an ibo man. Now i know money is not everything(knowledge is power). And most importantly i retraced my steps back to God almighty. Thank you Jesus.

But the year also had its own wahala. I lost a dear cousin who was married to a yoruba man(them say na poison kill am but no quote me o). i also lost some other people like that from neighbours to church members to extended cousins like that for village (u know that kain thing now). My car also almost got burnt(this is actually a miracle, it should have been in the first paragraph). mmmmmmmmm.........................(still thinking) Well i dont like remembering the bad things so i guess i have forgotten the rest of it(its better jo, count your blessings).

Anyway this is my first time i get to have a blog so pardon me, not good with words and all that.All those that know me well can atest to this. so i really hope u guys would write stuffs about me that are true and real.

The whole point of this anyway is to try something new(copy copy,na because others dey do am oo)and see how well i could do if i had to write something(like a novel or books or something like that) .

Cheers all and remember, God loves us all thats why He sent Jesus to die for us.

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!