Only if you were President…

You would not rule, but lead

Our nation would be the Pride of Africa

The legislators would do what they are supposed to be doing, not spending tax payers’ money by going to enforce election fraud in Ekiti

Every minister would sit up and work

Benin –Ore road would be repaired

The train services would work across the country

You would be invited for every G-5, G-10, G-20, G-50, G-100 summit holding anywhere in the world

PDP would diminish

We would not rely on Oil as our main economic sustenance

Even if you were ill and had kidney and heart failure combined, we would pray for you to recover quickly

You would focus on development of the nation at large

Majority of the population would have easy access to you

When you are not there, we won’t be afraid because we are sure you have the right people and system in place to run the government

The UEFA champions’ league final would be played in Nigeria (I know you can do it)

Only if you were president, Fashola

Only if you were president

May you continue doing what you are doing now for the next 6 years, and then improve & apply it to Nigeria’s development blueprint

BRF!! Fashi!!! Naija O’ Ni Baje O!!!

I dont know what to write...

…Seriously I don’t, but it just wanted to

Been having that feeling for months but did not have a clue what to write about – my life, my work, my wife, my family, my friends, my (?)(?)(?)(?)(?)(?)(?)….no clue at all

Then every time I sign on to facebook and I see all my friends writing – (Idris, Shosho, Uchie, NK, Sparkle, Mmachi e.t.c.), the little clue I had disappears from my memory again. I say to myself, “don’t worry, when you get the new job, ideas would flow”…..Nada, that did not help either

I went down to lunch a few minutes ago, on my way up the stairs (5 floors up, I like using the stairs) I said to myself – “Just go to your desk, open a blank word document, type the first thing that comes to your head and just post it on facebook”

Then another thought comes to my head again, “why not blogville? Why facebook?” and I answered “yeah, that too”

I walk to my desk, signed on to my laptop, ignored the unread mail notification on my system, opened a word document and just started typing

So I may not have written anything meaningful but hey, I don’t have to worry about writing in a couple of days or weeks or even months from now

Now, let me go back to work

Caveat emptor - This note may not make sense

My first 100 days in “Office”

Today marks my 100th day in “office” and as every other public leader in Nigeria would do, I have to give an account of my stewardship, howbeit premature.

In giving my stewardship, I am not going to talk about the 5 boreholes I commissioned in 6 local governments, the “multi-million naira” bus stop I built, the $38 billion dollar stadium I laid the foundation stone, the multi billion naira 500 bed hospital that would not be completed till I have served my 8 year term, the 10 refurbished Toyota Hilux I donated to the police commands to fight crime, the 350 wheel chairs I donated to the less privileged to the tune of 750million naira and the kick off of the over inflated =N= 25billion naira 35km road. (Sometimes you just wonder why they were elected in the first place)

In fact, my “office” is not a political one, though for some it could be. My “office” was ordained by God and HE expects me to respect that “office” and do everything I can (with His grace of course) to ensure I uphold all that the “office” signifies

That “office” is Marriage. Yep, today marks my 100th day as a married man. Yep, how time flies. It doesn’t even feel that way; it feels as if I just got married last weekend…ok, maybe 3 weekends ago.

I’m not going to start blowing my trumpet about how I have been a loving, lovable, caring, patient, adorable, bla bla bla bla kind of husband cos even Heaven knows I have been found wanting most of the time. It has taken God’s grace, the powerful name of Jesus Christ and the presence of the Holy Spirit to get us this far and with our own commitment, love and patient, I know it can only get better as we celebrate the 200th, 1,000th, 10,000th, 15,000th and 20,000th day in “office”.

Join us as we celebrate our 100th day in “Office”

….coincidentally this day also marks the 16th year anniversary of my father’s death. We miss you old man. Keep resting in peace till we meet to part no more.

400 “Friends”

For most people, making and keeping friends is as easy as it gets. For some, it’s like writing JAMB the 10th time. I find myself in between the two extremes. I have friends, “friends” and friends?.

I signed into facebook this morning and found out my “friends” now number 400 (well its actually 398 but with 2 other pending requests, that would make it 400). First thing that came to my mind was “how can?” I barely even know 400 people let alone 400 friends. But looking at it again, I think I do have friends, though most of them are online friends and colleagues at work which is where I spend most of my time anyway. Outside online (blogsville inclusive) and colleagues (current and former), I doubt if I have up to 10 friends out there.

I used to have them a lot but now, I just don’t know what happened.

In the past (like 15years ago), my friends used to be my fellow chess players, school mates, Man Utd supporters, neighbours and their friends too. Then (like 6-10 years ago) it changed to my “TGIF” crew, school mates, Man Utd supporters, “ex’s”, colleagues, neighbours and few online friends. Today, 95% of my friends are either colleagues, blogger’s (most of whom I barely even know) or facebook friends.

I am getting used to the “virtual” friendships. Damn…..i miss dem days when you always meet and hang out with your friends….like today Friday

Variance Analysis......

Variance analysis is an accounting term used in budgeting or management accounting in general. It is a tool of budgetary control by evaluation of performance by means of variances between budgeted amount, planned amount or standard amount and the actual amount incurred/sold. Variance analysis can be carried for both costs and revenues.

Variance analysis (in the real world and in my own dictionary) is the evaluation of how actual events played out as against planned events.

I will illustrate with an example


PLANNED EVENTS
Date: May 29th 2008

Venues: Home in Mafoluku, The Place in Ikeja GRA, Ada k’ ibe ya (Isi-ewu joint in Ajao Estate), Kusimo Street, Surulere (Roasted Fish Joint), Nwanyi Ibuzor (Local joint near my house)

Activities: Visit all the joints mentioned above pre-arranged by friends and call other friends who live around the joints to join me there for a celebration


ACTUAL EVENTS
Date: May 29th 2008

Venues: Home in Mafoluku, Office in Victoria Island,

Activities: Left home by 8 am for office (..and it was supposed to be a public holiday), work till 6pm, receive a bad evaluation, received no birthday gifts (well apart from Chweety of course)


Going from the above parameters, and using my own definition of Variance analysis; this was by far the worst birthday I have had in ages.

Thank you Chweety for making it memorable and for those who forgot to wish me happy birthday, I will get y’all.

But heyy….looking on the bright side, it saved me money

TAG.COM

Rules:
1. Link the person/people who tagged you
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Mention six(6) spectacular quirks of urs
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by adding their links
5. Let each of the tagged bloggers know they've been tagged..via their blogs

MY QUIRKS

1. I hate writing and dont love reading but cos of blogville, work and the fact i also have to broaden my knowledge and develop myself, i have to do them.

2. I hate being stood up (even for 5 minutes). I am too time conscious

3. I hate flying and at the same time hate sitting down for too long in a bus. That can only mean one thing - I hate travelling (except if i have to teleport)

4. I am addicted to sports (except cricket). I follow stories, actions, live events of practically all sports but most especially Football and Formula 1

5. I am CRAZY about cartoons and jokes. I have loads and loads of collections of Garfield and jokes from Jay Leno, Letterman, John Stewart, Colbert and the rest. It keeps me sane. if you are not on my mailing list, better apply now so i forward some of them to you everyday. some people already call me "clown" in the office

6. I cant tell a single joke. i suck at it. i cant even laugh at them....its that bad


OK so i tag Yankeechic, afrobabe, manda, Queenofmycastle, A.J, Toky

She fooled me….

Sometime last year, a blogger (name withheld) asked me if I wanted to be on the pages of a magazine because there was a piece she was doing on male blogger’s. It was supposed to be a follow up of a similar one for female blogger’s just weeks before then.

I agreed

She sent me questions via email; I replied and sent a couple of pics so she could choose the best for it.

Well, I think I did not reply on time or maybe my pictures were not fine enough but I don’t think she eventually published it. All this happened sometime late last year or so

Now, yesterday, this happened (on my yahoo messenger):

Ozofu: Congrats, I saw u on the pages of a magazine
Me: Emi ke? How? When? Which? Where?
Ozofu: On the pages of True Love
Me: R u serious? (but I thought True love was a womans magazine)
Ozofu: Yes, I am looking at it now. I will bring it over to the house tonight
Me: Did they put my pictures? And is it fine?
Ozofu: No, they did not
Me: Thank God

After that chat, I raise my head and tell all my team members I was on the pages of a magazine. I told them about the gist from last year and everything. Then I tell chweety that I was on the pages of a magazine. All this while I was looking for where I would quickly go and buy a magazine so I can read it.

5 minutes later, chweety tells me it was April fool

I felt like strangling Ozofu, if no be say I be God pikin I for show am pepper. My entire team members just dey laff me. chei, see my life

So, Blogville, please for my sake, lets look for “april fool” joke and play on ozofu. I don’t care even if its in December, we will call it “December fool” joke then. Pleaseeee, I dey beg, I must revenge and una must assist me

....and it went well

We were blessed, now we are one...

Married life has begun for me

Two stories of "2"...

STORY 1...

Today marks my 2nd year anniversary on blogville. It started like a joke and now here i am; 2 years later; 1645 profile visits; 45 posts and about 600 comments (sorry princesa, but i had to steal your style). Thank you all.

In a special way, i would want to thank Fatima for making me join blogville. Fatima herself, has not been in blogville for a while. i just hope she is ok. Infact her last post was in Sept 2006.
I would like to ask you all a favour; Please, visit Fatima's blog and tell her to update more often.
I know she has a yahoo 360 blog or so. I guess she i s spending all her time there or something


STORY 2...
I went for a seminar yesterday somewhere in Ikeja and just before it started we were asked to say an "opening prayer".

Now this prayer turned out to be the second stanza of our National Anthem. I did not think much of it cos i was sure i had said it like a billion times all through primary and secondary school.

We all got up, stood at attention and started singing...


O! God of creation
Direct our noble cause
Guide our leaders right (hmmm, whats the next verse again)
Help our truth the youth to know (noooo, it was supposed to be the other way round)
In love and honesty to grow
And live in just and peace (damn it, the whole hall was singing "and living just and true")
Great lofty hieghts attain (o yes, i remember this part now)
To build a nation whereeee peaaccee anndddd justiceee shallll reignnnnn

heyyyyyyyyyy(of course we did not sing this part. i only sang it in my head cos it was my favourite line in secondary school days)

All in all, i realised i aint patriotic enough, i cant even sing our national anthem well.

Too bad. Abeg make una go learn am ooo, because if any of us becomes minister or adviser tomorrow, we must sing it at the National Assembly ooooo.

I have said my own

In the Last 69 days.......

I have not blogged (well, except today of course)
I have missed two bloggers get together organized my Princesa (not intentional, I owe you an outing)
I have been depressed

I have been happy
I have been sad

I have been elated
I have laughed
I have rejoiced
I have traveled
I have seen
I have been seen
I have loved
I have hated
I have helped out
I have not helped out
I have been humble
I have been humbled
I have received
I have given
I have prayed
I have doubted
I have had hope
I have lost it
I have won
I have lost
I have loved my job
I have hated it too
I have proposed
....And she accepted

Lucky me

Last Update of the year.....

Hi all. Sorry i havent updated in a while. Too many things happening at the same time, but i thank God sha o, it could have been worse.

I wanted to do a different post but i changed my mind just as i was about posting it. it was supposed to be a sequel to a post i put up last year. I had it all typed out in a word document and all i had to do was "copy and paste" into my blog but....., i just dont know what happened.

It was supposed to be a tribute to my dad. December 15th would mark 15 years since he moved on. I wanted to tell him how well we have been doing by Gods mercies and how God has been a doing a wonderful work deputizing for him. I also wanted to tell him all our success stories for the year; from Mom to Iruka, Emeka, Viv, Uche, me, Ikenna, Chimezie and Nnamdi. The marriage in the family, his new grandson, my promotion, Iruka's Masters, Uche's new job and all that. Well, i guess it was giving away too many details (it was quiet elaborate) so i shelved it.

Anyway, this is what i could come up with that was close enough.

I also want to publicly apologise to blogville. So many of you(Jaybabe, Aijay, Princesa, Teediva, Cally, Solomosydelle, Obinwanne, Jaycee, Nikkisab, Ubong, B & B, Uzo, Mochafella, Isi, Ugo Daniels, Fantasy Queen, Onome, Rayo, Nyemoni, Arewa, QMC, Catwalq, Olamild, Sparkle, Bumight..e.t.c) come around and leave comments in my blog and i hardly ever do the same to yours. Please forgive me, its not intentional. i will do better from now on.

...and before i forget, i finally got rid of titi (my jalopy) and waiting to buy a new one. Still thinking of a name for her. I havent decided yet. suggestions would be appreciated, o rshould i just wait till i buy a new one?

HERE IS WISHING YOU ALL A LOVELY XMAS IN ADVANCE AND A WONDERFUL 2008.

HIP HIP HIP!!!!

HOOORAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hell Ride..........

This was on the "Journey to Atlantis" ride at Sea World, San Diego. Guess who is in the top left hand corner?

Yep, thats me, "an ibo dude", scared as hell. All my machismo, this is where it ended.

Roller coasters, NEVER in my life will i enter one again. I died and woke up ten times in just minutes of this HELL ride. And you know the worst part, just seconds before this ride, i was holding the kid beside me telling him everything would be alright and now look who got scared. The kid just laughed all through the ride; i felt like smacking him.

Well, my only consolation was the guy on the first line. He was as scared as i was (if not worse). You can call me "Scareddy cat", "kid afraid", "wimp" or anything else for that matter. All i know is no more "hell" rides for me.

So the next time you want to tell me how much of a wimp i can be, take me on a roller coaster ride. But you and i know that would never happen.